Consider the following TEDx Talk that starts with the quote, “It’s not the note you play that’s the wrong note – it’s the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.” ― Miles Davis
https://youtu.be/Yq5pJ0q3xuc
It made me consider the importance of the listener versus the talker and how much the listener has a lot of power in a conversation with their response – the kinds of questions they ask, their body language, their attentiveness or lack of attentiveness, etc. – either encouraging or discouraging the person doing the talking. (You can optionally watch a recording of my July webinar on “Listening Skills” at https://www.imanet.org/webinars/2023/july/listening-skills.)
I never would have considered improv comedy as a resource for active listening prior to watching this talk. But “Yes, And” is a practical and powerful communication tool because it allows for affirmation and collaboration: two important components of effective communication.
In an improv scene, it’s essential that the actors listen to one another and react positively to the information that they’re hearing so the performance can feel engaging and cohesive. We need to accomplish the same thing in our real-world conversations!
I echo TEDX speaker, Scott Pierce’s, challenge: pick a day over the next three weeks and “Yes, And” every interaction that day (even one or more conversations is ok). Listen, be present in the moment, drop expectations, accept a point of view you struggle with, and then act. And share your experiences with “Yes, And” in our discussion thread below!
I’ll kick off the sharing. I struggled at first understanding that saying “yes” isn’t always about agreeing with someone. I found myself in a situation where a colleague expected one of my classes to attend a networking event that didn’t fit with our course schedule. I wanted to say, “Yes, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but it doesn’t fit with our schedule.” I remembered, however, that the word “but” is like the control-alt-delete function on a computer in that it erases everything that came before it. I went through a similar situation the prior year and ended up giving in. I restated my reply this time as, “Yes, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity, and while it’s not possible to attend with our course schedule, I would happily offer extra credit to encourage students in my other classes to attend if you can accommodate them.” The “and” opened up more communication on how to get other students to attend. The “note” I “played” in my response to their request certainly made a positive difference.
Look forward to hearing about your experiences with “Yes, And!”
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Lisa Book, CMA, CFM, CSCA
Dean, IMA Leadership Academy
Lecturer in Accounting
Indiana University Southeast
New Albany IN
lmbook@...------------------------------